This is a post I had written for a blog which is now expired. I no longer drink soda and have not for 16 months.
It has come to my attention that there are less than desirables in our food supply. There was a time when this was not a priority. Now, being the mother of two children, eating cold pizza in the morning and raw cookie dough at any hour is not as appealing as it once was.
Like every other change I want to make in my life, I knew that cleaner eating would have to be a gradual process. Me doing anything cold turkey equalled not doing it at all in a week or two, only an afterthought soon forgotten. This sort of change had to be gradual due to the overwhelming and intimidating challenge in itself.
So I joined a local organic fruit and vegetable organization which plucks newly ripened treats once per week and delivers them to a drop-off point near my home. Then I joined a local health food store. I visited that store today. Now I must say that I once had an unhealthy relationship with Slim Jims. To keep myself from eating them any longer, I read the ingredient list on it's package. First ingredient: Mechanically Separated Chicken Parts. Of course my overactive imagination flashes to a poor chicken in a medieval rack, being interrogated mercilessly before being pulled in every direction. I could no longer take the the thought and had to stop eating them.
Today, the health food store answered my unspoken prayer with it's version of a Slim Jim. The hickory smoked stick would include cranberries and other non-meat items, squeezed into a tube to mock the Slim Jim and give me that non-guilt satisfaction. I gathered my goods and headed out to the car, being sure to put my new-found treat on the front seat so I could eat it on- the- go.
Let me tell you my surprise when I took the first bite and immediately and uncontrollably imitated a baby eating a pickle for the first time. The only way to enjoy this overly-priced cranberry Slim Jim, impostor was to quickly wash it down with a can of Coca-Cola. Did the granola patrons of the parking lot see me buy this healthy food and then wash it down with a Coke? I did not care! It was terrible. I wanted to stop at the next fast food joint and feed my sorrow with a greasy burger and fries....but I didn't.
My lesson of the day? Fake meat is nasty. Trying to substitute mechanically separated chicken parts with hickory-smoked cranberries is not something that should ever be attempted. The thing cost so much and I was so hungry, though, I ate the whole stick. Thank God for a full can of Coke.
